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This is the second of a six part exercise to read behavior of both sides of a conversation using an incident where police officers were called to a home where there was the report of a potential break in.
The Workout
- Context: In the following video, two police officers talk with a man who was reported being seen outside of a home while carrying a shovel. In this second part, the first officer who spoke with the man has returned to her car to check on his information, while the second officer is approaching the man to talk to him.
- Because of the length of the video, this exercise will be broken up into a six-part series.
- Task 1: First, assess the man being contacted’s behavior and identify the observations that support that assessment.
- Task 2: Second, assess the police officer’s behavior and identify the observations that support that assessment. View this from the perspective of the man being contacted.
- Task 3: Third, Identify the cluster of behavior that the police officer likely believes that he is displaying towards the man and identify the observations that support that assessment.
- Note: We acknowledge that the assessment in task #3 is HIGHLY subjective. We aren’t in the officer’s head and haven’t talked to him. We are basing this assessment (when it is different than the behavior observed in Task #2) on the observations and behaviors we can collect in this video.
- Write your answers on a sheet of paper before viewing our answers
View Our Answers
- The Man: The Submissive Cluster
- The man refers to the police officer as “sir.”
- The man stays seated, making himself look smaller than the officer standing over him
- The man offers the shovel to the officer and quickly explains that he was doing nothing wrong with the shovel, to show that he is being non-threatening to the officer.
- The Police Officer (As assessed by man): The Dominant Cluster
- Opens with an accusatory joke: “What are you doing breaking into your mom’s house?” While likely intended as a joke, there is the inherent stressor that comes with the accusation of a crime from a police officer.
- Walks onto the porch: blocking the man’s only exit route or option to re-establish distance from the officer. Assessed as dominance as it eliminates the opportunity for the man to establish a proxemic separation (group dynamics) that would make him comfortable or not feel threatened.
- Entry into the man’s anchor point as the porch is part of the home.
- The question, “what’s with the shovel,” is a direct question, something often seen in the dominant cluster.
- The Police Officer (As likely assessed internally): The Comfortable Cluster
- Approaches the man casually and not in an overtly aggressive way.
- The use of the joke, “What are you doing breaking into your mom’s house?” is said in a light, non-aggressive voice.
- After going up the stairs to the porch, leans on one arm on the railing (you can see the reflection in the glass door), which is a relaxed posture.
- Add a comment with the assessments that you made, but that we didn’t make, so that we can check for those assessments and provide feedback on those specific observations. We will add them to our answers in the post itself for future viewings of the exercise.
Enhance The Workout
- Repeat
- Rewatch the video as many times as is necessary to identify each of the observations that we have identified for the man, the way the officer is likely being perceived by the man, and the way the officer is likely perceiving his own actions.
- Despite the fact that there is only 10 seconds of interaction, that provides a long enough period of time to build a cluster of at least 3 indicators for each assessment.
- Being able to quickly establish the initial cluster (the baseline for the man being contacted), is critical so that you can have a point of reference to measure any changes in behavior against.
- Reflect
- Are there any times in your life where you have observed a discrepancy between the type of behavior you think you are displaying and the way another person might be perceiving you?
- This is what is commonly referred to as a miscommunication, where what someone says (whether verbally or nonverbally) is interpreted differently by the person receiving the message than the person communicating it.
- Think about times where you may have been part of a miscommunication and assess the difference in the cluster of behavior used to express whatever was being talked about. The goal isn’t to focus on the content of the words conversation itself, but in the way it was expressed.
- Act
- As we seek to minimize miscommunications, being able to view a conversation that you are having from a detached perspective is a skill that takes practice. You are viewing this in a POV way as the footage is from the officer’s body camera, but try to envision seeing this as an outsider. How is the officer standing? How is he (likely) sizing up the man? How is the man (likely) sizing up the officer?
- Throughout the week, use some conversations that you are in as an opportunity to practice detaching yourself and viewing the interaction as an outsider, where you can observe yourself through the eyes of another. It won’t come naturally at first, it absolutely takes work, but is a skill that once developed, can be a huge asset in your ability to assess other people and influence their future actions and behavior.
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